I love being a mom! Raising my mixed family with purpose and intention has become a huge indicator of success for my life. Specifically, and in no small part, loving my biracial babies with the hope of raising self-assured and resilient global citizens has been the most rewarding experience. I struggle every day; I’m never perfect. But as soon as my mixed newborn babies came to this world, my heart exploded with hope and gratitude.
You’ve heard of What to Expect When You’re Expecting? Well, this is like that… but through a multiracial lens!
Motherhood is universal in so many ways. But when you’re expecting multiracial babies, a few unique experiences await you. Here are 10 things you can probably expect when having a mixed race baby…
Mixed Babies Create New Family Legacy
And you’ll love it!
I grew up with a strong Cuban culture that was very different from my peers. I’m first generation Latino American and my upbringing reflects that. So when I married my husband and we chose to have a mixed-race family, we created a NEW family legacy that reflects both his African American culture and my own Latino heritage.
But I didn’t expect to love it so much! When I was expecting my newborn mixed babies, I hoped to raise children with a strong foundation of self. Now that they’re getting older, I love to see them embrace all of their passions. From Noche Buena and Christmas morning to attending a dual immersion school and learning to speak Spanish, my husband and I are so proud to raise these mix race babies
My First Mixed Race BabyBiracial Babies + New Priorities
I gave birth to racial awareness by having a biracial baby. Becoming a mother is a metamorphic experience in its own right, but giving birth to mixed race babies is another experience entirely. When my mixed baby girl was born, I began to form opinions in ways that challenged my worldviews. I cared about social justice before I was a mom and when I married a black man those worldviews only heightened, but wow – giving birth to biracial babies is like giving birth to a new set of priorities. Issues that once sat low on my priorities have become benchmarks in my parenting today. Motherhood is crazy like that!
Related: Mixed Baby Boy at 7 Months Old
You might asses how your privilege impacts your parenting (such as my realization in this story on my raising my mixed race baby girl). You might advocate for equality or attempt to connect bridges of understanding within your own family. A mom of mixed race kids might feel the urgency to promote self-love and acceptance when mainstream media doesn’t always reflect it, knowing that their black babies will look to them to model those virtues.
Related: Do Our Mixed Kids Need Mixed Friends?
The point is when expecting multiracial babies, you can expect to birth a heightened awareness of racial realities and societal structures. And that’s a good thing! How you choose to parent through that awareness is unique to your interracial family.
Remarks On Mixed Race Babies
Why must people open their mouths to say stupid ish? Remarks on your mixed race baby can be exhausting as a brand new mom. I hope you don’t go through it, but I did so I’m going to include this as something to expect. My baby girl (pictured above) was called an “adorable monkey”, a Native American, a black and Mexican baby (she’s neither Native American or Mexican); her hair texture was examined, her undertones were dissected. None of these comments were directed with malice (I think) and some, as a new mom, I even laughed along (with regret)….. but after laboring for 12+ hours, it was exhausting nonetheless.
If you need help explaining exactly what does biracial mean, as well as other racial identity terms often used, feel free to check out Biracial Definition Guide.
Related: What Does Biracial Mean? And Other Terms You Need to Know
Newborn Mixed Babies Skin Color Mystery
Imagine the surprise when my biracial baby looks white at birth?! Truth is, multiracial babies can totally look different within a year or more after they are born. Your mixed baby at birth do some serious changes in their first few years of life! My handsome mixed little boy was born brown and stayed brown throughout his first year of life, but my daughter….. well, let’s just say my mom had some questions for me as she was born super white (photo of her below). Their skin color is pretty much identical now.
Multiracial babies can get much, much darker after they’re born. Their hair texture can completely change, too. Just check out the difference between our newborn curly hair routine and our mixed toddler hair care routine…. who knew hair can change so much within two years! And even then, skin color between siblings can be dramatically different.
Before giving birth, my MIL filled me on the changes my baby would have over her first few months of life. She shared pictures of her own children – beautiful black men now – that were born as babies with white skin. It blew my (very ignorant, unaware) mind! She told me that within 6 months or so, my girl would “get her color” and her hair texture would get more coarse over the years. She was right, of course, and I was grateful to have someone to fill me in.
Mixed Race BabiesBaby Generators Obsession
Like my friend Jennifer talks about here, you might get a little obsessed with baby generators. I had one baby generator with pictures give me the scariest looking baby you’ve ever seen! My pregnancy hormones were in overdrive, so I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. I used all sorts of images to create a baby picture generator that a little bit realistic. Maybe my husband and I looked too different or maybe the baby generators weren’t used to biracial babies yet, but I kept getting alien babies! Like Christie talks about in this post, even if you wonder what your mixed baby will look like, you’ll love them like crazy no matter what.
Unifying Mixed Families
Like babies are in most families, not just mixed ones, our interracial babies create bridges and unite families. If you had previous issues with extended family and friends during an interracial relationship, your new baby might be an opportunity to unify those relationships (this happened to us). Babies have that kind of superpower over older generations!!
It’s not something I expected, but giving birth to my babies has strengthened my family and helped to create and solidify the kind of community I’m excited to raise my babies in. This post from Almost Indian Wife talks about unifying a mixed family while raising their Indian and white baby. She talks about giving birth to their half white half Indian baby and a focus on communication to prepare.
Raising our multiracial babies to feel whole in their mixed identities, with ownership and pride in their heritage, helps create a footing for their future worldviews. This journey has become an integral part of personal identity too, making my motherhood such a huge part of my life. Like most moms, our babies bring us such joy. Biracial babies just do so in a few different ways.
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Diedre
September 17, 2016 at 9:28 amWhat a great post! I can especially relate to #6. All the comments about how light my babies were got exhausting. I grew tired of having to defend my right as their mother even though our complexions didn’t match. I also loved your point in #4. Both of my daughters have changed so much since birth. It’s amazing to me how their curls, complexion, and little personalities have changed from year to year. So glad to participate in this link up with you!
Vanessa Bell
September 17, 2016 at 1:06 pmI’m super glad too, Diedre! xoxo!
Lauren Mokasdar (English Wife Indian Life)
September 18, 2016 at 6:17 amGorgeous post!!!
My baby is 20 weeks old (half Indian, half white) and so many points on this post resonated with me!! I’m so excited to see what new/”best of both worlds” culture our British/Indian babies will create! xx