“I Want to Marry a Latina” And Other Myths About Our Interracial Life

We’ve all heard different chistes de casados, but what have you heard about interracial marriage? Before I met my husband, I didn’t think much of the prevalent misconceptions of interracial marriages or raising mixed kids. But as a Latina wife married to an African American man, I’m now aware of the challenges of marrying outside your culture and bringing someone “different” can present. After a decade as an interracial couple, here are 6 myths of being part of an interracial couple according to this Latina wife.

Latina Interracial Life

Interracial Dating Tips

What’s become so pervasive in our discussion about interracial dating is the focus on stereotypes. And it goes both ways! My husband heard all sorts of crazy assumptions about marrying a Latina, from how I would serve his plate of food to what I must be like behind closed doors. Now that’s insane. Latina women come from a strong culture, but we’re not all the same.

Marrying a Latina Myths!

Myth 1: We don’t have pride in our respective cultures.

When I met my husband and the dialogue of what it meant to marry interracially was opened, the opportunity to express pride in my culture was prompted. With mutual respect and love, we grew to understand the other’s experiences. He didn’t go around thinking “I want to marry a Latina”… we just fell in love and respect. And in celebrating our marital unit, we allowed each other the space to value what makes us individuals. In the many discussions on race and identity since, my interracial marriage had finally allowed me to be proud of who am I, especially in being Latina.

Myth 2: We’re more different than the same.

It’s true – at first, the stares from those who only saw our differences were uncomfortable. Interracial marriage can sometimes feel like we’re more different than alike. Because of our skin colors, we’ve often dealt with the myth that we are too different to be accepted, or even happy. It didn’t take long to realize that we have more in common than not: we were both athletes. We both love to dance. He’s traveled the world, and I’ve always wished to. In the parts that matter most – in our values and goals – we are more the same than different. Deciding to marry, interracially or not, is based on what makes you similar – not how different the world thinks you are.

Related: Challenges of Interracial Marriages

Myth 3: We’re trying to be someone else.

We all bear the burden of self-discovery – you don’t have to be in an interracial marriage to stumble on your path of awareness and personal identity. However, the myth that interracial couples have low self-esteem is prevalent. Have I suffered from low self-esteem? Of course! But learning to hold down our family unit, held strong by the love of my husband, has strengthened my sense of self. If I married my husband because I wanted to be someone else, it would be true – his friendship and commitment have transformed my identity! For better or worse, regardless of what culture your husband is from, I bet he’s altered your personal identity too.

Myth 4: We talk about race all the time.

Because of our different backgrounds, I am often asked how the topics of race and culture affect our daily lives. Truth is, after nearly a decade, race-related topics are not part of our day-to-day lives. We are more inclined to discuss personal finance, current events and weekend plan then issues surrounding race. I’m not blind to the injustices that people of color face, but it also doesn’t govern our nuclear home life. Only recently has the issue of skin color resurfaced in our home now that our children have begun to observe the colors that make up our family.

Myth 5: We don’t think about the children.

I think this is the one that bums me out the most because, before we even get started with our lives, the assumption is that we’re bad parents. For those who plan to have mixed babies, including those just starting interracial dating, your biracial babies will need very much the same things any other kid needs: loving, stable parents. From what we name our kids, to where we live and our ambitions of bilingualism, raising multiracial children who are resilient in character and proud of their heritage is paramount. Prior to their birth and every day since the goal of our interracial marriage is to build a legacy of love and pride.

Related: What to Expect With Biracial Babies

Myth 6: All interracial relationships are the same.

Portrayals of casual interracial relationships, fatherless biracial children and overtly-sexualized images are common. Myths that men only want a “trophy” Latina wife with all the cultural perks or someone to abuse only propel that stereotype.

But not all interracial marriages are the same. Some are wholesome, well-meaning unions, based on the concept of love, struggling with daily life, just like any other couple would. Now after ten years of marriage, we know that we’re not immune to failure, but the challenges we face as an interracial couple has made our marriage more resilient because we face them together.

Related: Our Interracial Wedding Story