Our Wedding Story

My husband and I have been married over ten years and this day continues to be one of the best of my life. Here I’ll go into the details of this magical day; our wedding story. 

My Wedding Story

We had a string duo play traditional wedding melodies, but the main reason I wanted them there was to play Leo Brouwer’s Afro-Cubano Lullaby (the link will take you to YouTube, in case you want to hear the song by a guitarist. It is truly a magically, beautiful tune).  I was really nervous before the wedding. Like really nervous. My nerves calmed slightly when I saw D, but only when I heard the strings begin to play the Afro-Cubano Lullaby did I really calm down.

My Dad walked me down the aisle. I’m surprised that I didn’t break his wrist because I was literally squeezing his hand as hard as I could. As soon as I turned the corner, I saw D and worked hard to hold back the tears. I love the picture above of my sister scoping out D’s reaction, while my best friend’s eye were squarely on me. I love these two girls.

Once I got to my soon-to-be husband, I relaxed a bit. Do you see my thumb holding his knuckles? I rubbed and rubbed those knuckles during the ceremony because I was that nervous – we still joke about that moment. D, who is very familiar with attention, smiled the whole time, never letting go. That’s what I love most about my husband – I can be freaking out, and he is smiling away, letting me slowly remember that life really isn’t that serious and to just relax. As long as he’s there, everything is alright.

I hardly remember reciting our vows, but they were the traditional ones. We (meaning me) opted not to write our vows. I think it is very cool to write your own, and become a union under the words and offerings you create as individuals, but I am a sucker for tradition. All my life I have heard those vows at others ceremonies or on television, and I wanted to experience that. Our wedding story started with the same traditional vows that so many great marriages before us started, and that makes me proud. I also struggled with whether we should remove the controversial word “obey” from our vows. Should spouses “obey” each other?

Ultimately, we left it there. In our 5 years of marriage, there have been moments where, in order to progressive and evolve as a couple, one or the other had to succumb and obey. Neither of us is perfect, and sometimes we have to trust the others guidance to move forward. I am a proud, strong woman, teetering on feminist, and I see nothing wrong with obeying Daddy D in moments where I lack. There is no one else in this world that I can say that about. I trust him. I know myself. And yes, I obey him. As he obeys me.

When we had to walk around to face our guests and light our unity candle also garnered some nervousness. I had heels on, walking in a gown, messing with fire (I was shaking like a maraca) and a wonderful Vegas breeze upon us, and I was nervous. It went well, and I loved our pastors message as we lit the candles that now decorate our home. I was happy to have made time in our ceremony for this symbolic moment.

Months before, I had asked my best friend to read a poem from my favorite author, Maya Angelou. She read Touched by an Angel, which I feel is a beautiful depiction of our journey as a couple. Jess and I have known each other since freshman year and English Honor 1 – we are used to breaking down poems, finding symbolism and meaning to small details. (I plan to do that exercise with our Maya Angelou poem for this series.) While Jess was reading the poem, I finally lost control of my tears. It meant so much to me that she read it; hearing my best friend’s comforting voice while she perfectly recited it was just too much. I snuggled into my husband’s embrace, grateful that our guests couldn’t see my face, and just cried. Thank you forever, Jess.

When we were finally pronounced man and wife, it was like I could finally breathe. The moment was surreal. For better or worse, my legacy would forever be united with this man.

I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since this moment! What girl doesn’t enjoy getting all glammed up on her wedding day? Our wedding story started out in a suite at the JW Marriott Las Vegas. The one-bedroom suite had two bathrooms and plenty of space for all my bridesmaids and family to enjoy the morning with me. In fact, in true me fashion, the night before my wedding day was spent cuddled up with my best friend and my favorite kids (at that point) – her two daughters and my littlest sister – all in my bed. I ended up moving to the couch; I could hardly sleep anyway. Having them there helped to calm my nerves and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I was super spoiled on my wedding day. My makeup and hair were done in my room, room service brought up breakfast and everyone that I needed came to me. I bought special silky robes for me and my girls to wear during the morning while we sipped on champagne. Seriously. I felt like the day could stop right there and I would have been just fine. Minus having D in the room, that morning was pretty darn perfect.

The morning went by so fast that it didn’t occur to me that after my dress was zipped and final touches added, that I was bride until my sister almost started to cry. It was kind of a surreal moment, similar to becoming a mom. You prepare for so long, expect such huge emotions, and when the moment is there, you’re just there. In the moment. At least that’s how it was for me.

At this point, I was sooo ready to see D. After a night not speaking, I was anxious to see him and find out what shenanigans he and his friends had gotten themselves into…

Getting ready was perhaps one of my favorite parts of our wedding story. It was relaxed and safe. I had a ton of anxiety thinking of standing in front of everyone, reciting vows. Not an ounce of anxiety about marrying D, though. After all the planning and talking about whether this was the man I would marry, fears of actually doing so was the last thought on my mind on our wedding day. Seems a little late to doing so anyway. Marrying into a multi-cultural marriage and having an interracial wedding was definitely a part of my anxiety. Marrying D was not.