3 Ways Teach Girls To Can By Example From Mom

Positive Parenting Styles That Teach Empowerment

Do you allow your little girls to say can’t? I’ve been thinking about this lately, as my 4 year old has become my shadow and parrot all at once, and have decided to outlaw the word in my home. And the rule applies to me, too. I’ve decided to put my positive parenting style to the test and remove restrictions on what I can achieve, and thus my daughter’s, because lately I’ve been using that word too much.

Even my husband has noticed, asking me why I’ve been so negative lately. My biggest offense has been around the can’t of time, saying things like “I can’t do it all!” or listing all the things I can’t do because I don’t have enough time. Obviously, one mom truly cannot do it all (or should feel the stresses that they have to). But, that’s kind of my point. If I’m stressed, I should say that. I should say, “Can you help me with xyz because I feel stressed?”. And who says I have to do it all anyway?

3 Ways to Model Empowerment to Little Girls

Our family is going through a big transition, having just moved from another state, proving that my family is capable (can can) almost anything together. Even moreso, that I can lead my family through almost anything. I really give myself such little credit and that’s not something I want my girl learning. I wish for her to always feel like she can…

And so, when Walmart asked me to share The COVERGIRL #GirlsCan campaign that promotes the empowerment of women, I agreed. All moms raising girls should! The campaign is about encouraging girls to break down barriers and turning “can’t” into “can” and what better way than to model the behavior as a mother and legacy builder.

Here are 3 ways I try my best to model empowerment:

1. Use Affirming Statements: Almost anything you say with can’t, can be expressed as an affirmation instead. So, when I would otherwise say “I can’t listen to you right now! I’m trying to work!”, I try to say instead, “I need a bit of time to focus right now. Can I answer your question in 2 minutes?”. Or, have you ever noticed how saying “stop” to your little one does the opposite? Ask for the behavior you want – be direct and affirm your desires – and see how far that gets you. “Stop jumping on the couch” would then turn into “on your bottom please”. Teaching our girls to be direct helps empower their communication skills.

2. Be Clear On What Makes You Proud: Women learn to can’t because we learn, early on, that being proud of ourselves makes us conceited or self-centered; qualities that otherwise are unattractive to men. Well, in my house, that’s not acceptable. My daughter knows that her mom loves things that were counter-intuitive to what society has always told me women loved: I love to work. I love my job. I love making money for my family. I want my daughter to see me happy, proud and capable of doing whatever I choose to do – even if society finds the topics taboo. #Girlscan be proud of themselves! If you love baking cookies because you’re an awesome baker and cookies make your family and friends happy, TELL your daughter that! Let her feel the pride you feel when you can do things that fill your heart with joy.

3. Be Realistic (and gracious) For What You Can Do: This is my biggest challenge in mothering right now. I can do many things… but not everything. Trying to do everything – and moms, you know that I mean everything – turns me into a crazy person. Like, even more crazy than a crazy Cuban. Like a stressed out, can’t do nothing, incapable-of-showing-any-gratitude-for-the-tremendous-blessings-in-my-life kinda mama. Ugh. I can be much better if I managed the expectations of what I can realistically do.

How You Can Get Support #GirlsCan

Support Women Empowerment Donations

I believe that #girlscan because their mothers could. Women empowerment starts young, and COVERGIRL and Walmart understand that. Both companies are donating $50,000 each to Dress for Success, is an international not-for profit organization that promotes the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools to help women thrive in work and in life. To date, Dress for Success has helped more than 775,000 women work towards self-sufficiency.

As a mother and ultimate legacy builder, how will you affirm your daughter’s empowerment today?