Understanding my identity and perspective on life became an important task once I became a mother building a multiracial family legacy. If I was going to raise a child to be self-assured with a strong personal identity, I knew that committing the energy to improve my own was paramount. In my years of mothering, I’ve learned to understand myself more. Also, in the way I parent and the values I hold dear to my heart, I notice the influence of past generations of Latina moms. The mothers and daughters in my family have been pivotal to my identity.
What I Learned From 5 Generations of Latina Moms
1. Love the young. My great-great grandmother was alive for all of my youth, leaving our family when I was almost 22-years-old. I feel so fortunate to have had the great-great grandmother that I did. While she was approaching 80 years of age when I was born, my memories of Abuela Ana are of a vibrant and loving woman. Even in her final years, she kissed me and told me I was beautiful. Her legacy to me is that love spent on the young never goes in vain. Love the children in your life and not only will they love you back, but your legacy of adoration will be remembered long after you’re gone.
2. Speak with kindness. After my parents divorced, my great-grandmother watched my brother and I so that my mom could work. We called her Margo (her name was Margaret) and I simply cannot think of kinder person. Even as I sit here, trying to recall a time where she yelled at us or lost her temper, I can’t. Margo was patient, never asked for anything in return and loved us immensely. She was quiet, yet stern in her virtues. In the most challenging mothering moments, I ask myself, “How would Margo handle this?” My children have a better mom because of Margo.
3. Self care is vital. My grandmother is a pinnacle of strength. She immigrated to the United States as a political refugee from Cuba with my grandfather and two small children. Together, my grandparents created a legacy of wealth and stability that most of us call the American Dream. In my motherhood, her advice to me has always been the same: take care of yourself! From diet and exercise to manicures and facials, my grandmother has taught me that to raise a great family legacy, you need a solid foundation. Self care is vital for healthy motherhood.
4. There’s no room for judgment in motherhood. For as much as I love my mom, the stress a divorce had on her motherhood (and my childhood) impacts our relationship. Most moms are doing the best they can with what they have; casting judgment only diminishes they’re ability to mother. Now that I’m a mom, I understand her so much more. I appreciate her struggles and am grateful to her — I also judge less.
5. I am good enough. As the fifth generation of a legacy of mothers, and also as someone who has battled with low self esteem, I finally know that I’m good enough. To raise happy kids and lead a successful life, the lessons we learn from past generations falls back on foundation of knowing your worth.
My beautiful daughter,
You are so blessed with family legacy. In addition to the many wonderful aunties and grandma you have on your daddy’s side, you also come from an extraordinary legacy of mothers on mine. You have and love dearly your GG and Abuela. You even have your Grammy, who you love too.
I love teaching you about our family legacy of Latina moms in hopes that it impacts the woman you’ll one day become. Whether you become a mom or not is of no concern – that choice is yours alone – but from the relationships with generations before you, you’ll learn different things.
The lesson I learned from my great-great grandmother is different from that of my own because they were at different points in their lives when I was young. I am grateful to have that wealth of life experience to draw from as I matured.
While I want us to always be close, I also wish for you to lean on the women in our family that can bring you strength and guidance. I am doing my best, but I am not perfect. I can’t do this alone. I trust each of them to help guide and mold you in the amazing, extraordinary woman you are destined to become.
Te quiero por siempre mi hija linda,
Su Mama
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