Do What You Love, Don’t Love What You Do

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to teach your kids to do – to do their chores, to do their homework, to do the right thing…. But also, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to teach kids to do what makes their heart happy. One of my brightest hopes as a parent is to raise two people that are willing to do what makes them happy. I believe that, so long as you are physically healthy and emotionally balanced, you can induce happiness. I believe that, through practicing gratitude, for example, one can become a happier person. Life is what we make it, after all.

As a young college student, I heard the saying “do what you love” very often. Did you hear this when you were just starting out? For a long time, when I heard that saying, my brain would translate it into “love what you do”. So, I worked in social services with under-served youths. I learned a lot about what good parenting wasn’t and how I would do things when God finally blessed me with children. I tried my best to love what I did, but, quite frankly, was emotionally depleted most days. Looking for a life change, I moved to Vegas and started work in wholesale lending. I loved what I did one day of each month (otherwise known as payday). I quickly learned that loving the finance industry was impossible for me.

Bright Hopes, New Dreams and Even Bigger Doing

One week after finding out we were pregnant with Alina, I was laid off from my social service job. My out of state agency lost their Nevada State grant, and all of us were out of a job. Just like that. I didn’t love what I was doing, but we needed the paycheck, so I wasn’t happy about it. After a few years and a few blog posts, I finally understand what this 20-something year old kid did not: We should be doing what you love, and not giving up entirely on our dreams because they take too much work, ambition, resources, etc.

Back then, while working with great kids and their families, I was loving what I did – only striving for what others considered successful or ambitious, pursuing employment avenues not congruent with my talents – and now I do what I love. Daddy D, and everyone else, thought I was crazy spending countless hours on a blog. Some people still think I am…

But I’m happy. And I’m doing.

I’m not waiting, or loving something without cause. I want my children to know they can do what they love, too. I want them to never be afraid to exert extra energy on a hobby, seek solace to finish writing or building, to do what is necessary to be successful – in their eyes. I want them to know that happiness and success, especially when it comes to doing what they love, is relatively in their control. Doing what you love – versus loving what’s available or profitable at the time – is a selfish act. It took me a long time to be okay with the resources I stole from my family to devote to this space. But as new projects unfold, brighter hopes become clear and dreams that I’ve loved since forever inch their way into my hands, I’m going to keep doing.

And I’m not just referring to income or employment, but rather to pursing life long ambitions. Taking on a challenge. Setting a goal and meeting it. I’m talking about the satisfaction that doing gives a person – the happiness a person controls when they accomplish a task. Even if nothing ever comes from writing, I would do it anyway.

Are you teaching your kids to do, too? Will you prompt them to commit to the hard work and long hours it takes to build a business, earn an advanced degree, design a fashion line, construct a home or whatever else their heart yearns to achieve? I sure hope so. Hard work and success, not restricted to money (because we all know money doesn’t buy love) begets happiness.

A+S,

Hard work begets success. Falling in love is easy, but doing what you love to the point where it breeds success teaches you a lot about who you are and points you towards happiness – whatever that looks like for you.

Don’t fret, because if it’s true love, the more you work, the more it will reward you. I write this completely unknowing what, if anything ever, will come of this road for me, but we don’t have to look much further to understand how doing what you love can change your life. Did you know your Dad played professional basketball? Do you know how many people are actually able to say that? Not many. While I know he wishes he could have played longer, your Dad played his guts out nearly everyday of his life to achieve the success he had.

Can’t play a lick of basketball? Start your own traveling team, grow it into a club, hire coaches, scout raw talent, change a kid’s life.

Want to write a book about raising multiracial children and help raise a more tolerant society? Start a blog.

Hey, why not?

Te quiero por siempre, mi anjelitos. May you always be brave and selfish enough to do what you love.

Su Mama