FAQs: How To Manage Curly Biracial Hair (Updated 2019)

Over the years, I’ve gotten thousands of emails asking about the little girl with curly hair who’s light shines through all my photographs. From white moms, black moms, adoptive moms, grand-moms, they all want to know if their curly kids have healthy biracial hair like my mixed kids do. They love their babies SO much!!! I’m proud to know so many caregivers raising multiracial children to love their gorgeous curls. So from my heart to yours, regardless of routines, hairstyles or curly hair products, you are already doing a great job because you care!

This post was originally published in 2014, when my mixed baby girl was only 4 years old, and contains affiliate links. You can read our full disclaimer here. 

Now in 2018, my daughter is 8 years old and we’ve learned so much about curly hair care. This article has been updated to include our lessons in mixed hair, a list of our favorite curly hair products and links to a few easy hairstyles for mixed hair, BUT still reflects the regime we followed at that time.

I’ll update this post with a link to our new, BIG GIRL Curly Hair Routine as soon as its posted.

Loving Our Mixed Curly Hair

Moms realize that mixed hair care is more than a beauty routine. Learning how to care for mixed race hair is also about exploring the interracial experience, creating our own definition of beauty and staying focused on our ultimate job in raising happy, biracial kids.

But learning the many nuances of natural hair for kids can be a steep learning curve. Mixed curly hair, especially when its as thick as my daughter’s, takes time and practice to master.

In this post I’m going to cover everything we’ve learned about black curly hair (including Frequently Asked Questions – FAQs), how we care for our kids natural hair, a few of our favorite mixed girl hairstyles and the best curly hair products that we always keep on hand.

Curly Hair Kids

Mixed Hair Care Routine: How to Take Care of Mixed Race Hair

Learning how to take care of mixed race hair will greatly determine health, so it’s important to examine your curly hair routine. There are many curly hair solutions out there. Explore and experiment with solutions that work best to maximize moisture retention and curl definition.

This is my post on Mixed Hair Care Tips for Tips for Toddler’s Ringlet Curls, which was our dedicated curly hair routine up until my little girl was about 5 years old. We’ve made changes over the years but the overall principles still appeal: lots of conditioners for various purposes, deciding curly hairstyle and desired curl pattern before we allow curls to dry, and moisture retention to prevent very dry mixed race hair. As mentioned in our Low Porosity Hair Care post, the addition of heat/steam and “forcing” deep conditioners are the two biggest changes to our big mixed girls curly hair routine.

This article on a Night Time Routine for Ringlet Curls was when we did not use head wraps or satin bonnets, which we use now at 8-years-old. (Products linked below.) Back when she was a toddler/pre-school age, I worried about suffocation as she was a wild sleeper. Now that she’s in elementary school and has matured, I consider these tools essential to our curly hair routines. We have always used a satin pillowcase during our biracial hair care routine.

A Few Big Lessons in Afro Curly Hair

Before my kids were even born, the afro comments started – and they weren’t meant as compliments. I was amazed at how natural hair growing out of some people’s head caused such an uproar. Because I didn’t grow up loving my naturally curly hair, I feel it’s important that my kids see the beauty of afro curly hair.

Natural afro hair refers to both hair texture and a hairstyle. Afro-textured hair is often categorized as 4a hair, 4b hair or 4c hair (see below for introduction in curl patterns), has a definite “Z-shaped” curl pattern and often lacks curl definition.

My mixed kids hair is somewhere between afro and curly, with more “s” curl hair than “z”, and tightly coiled curls. Actually, if I’m being exact, different curly types can be found on my daughter’s head ranging from 3a hair on top (which gets frizzy) and 4a hair underneath (which are tight coils of S curls). If we use a brush to create a hairstyle without curl definition, my babies can easily rock huge, gorgeous afros hairstyles too.

Curl Pattern: What Type of Hair Do I Have?

Curl patterns explain the various hair types a person can have – from straight to curly to kinky – using a number and letter metric. Our family has so many curly hair types that we would cover the entire type chart!

What Is Hair Porosity?

Hair porosity determines the rate at which curly hair can absorb water, conditioners and hair oils. Both of my kids have low porosity hair. I wrote all about it here.  Once you learn the low porosity hair characteristics (and take the hair porosity test) it will be like a light bulb went off! Who knew this secret to healthy biracial hair existed?! We love these Shea Moisture Low Porosity shampoo and conditioner.

Why So Much Frizzy Hair?

Frizzy curly hair happens when the hair strands separate and lose definition of ringlet curls. Frizzy hair can mean hair is not healthy and needs more moisture, or simply that the curly hairstyle needs refreshing.

Frizzy hair is typically found in looser curls, such as mine (2b hair to 3a hair), because the strands separate easily (not as tightly wound into curly coils). My daughter has a combination of textures and experiences frizzy hair only in certain areas where her hair is less coarse. Her spirals curls are gorgeous but the top section of her hair tends to get very frizzy.

Mixed Hair Curls FAQs Answered

Do you really leave all that conditioner in her hair? I’ve been asked if I really leave that much conditioner in her hair and the answer is yes, I do. After a clarifying shampoo (occasionally) or co-wash (weekly), I thoroughly rinse. After that, I finger comb with a “combing conditioner” (as I call them) and do not rinse after that. Usually, as I comb to work out the tangles, much of the conditioner is pulled out through the detangling process. A deep condition comes after, if needed or weekly, which I also do not rinse out. Using my fingertips to forcibly close the cuticles of each strand of hair, I smooth it all down. This is when I check the ends and assess for breakage.

What kinds of conditioners do you use? I’ve listed our best products for mixed curly hair with links to purchase below, but I wanted to clarify how I view the various conditioners we use. The best conditioners for curly hair will depend on what you are trying to achieve. For our routine, we need three different types: a combing conditioner with plenty of slick to allow for finger combing and detangling and is often used as a co-wash, a deep conditioner that I use as an everyday conditioner and a leave-in conditioner that is used before styling. I read the instructions but don’t take them as a bible.

Why so many tangles? Curly hair doesn’t shed like straight hair – curly hair patterns just naturally tangle but still stay within the hair on the scalp. This is why we see hair loss during detangling. Detangling will help your high quality conditioners to adsorbed throughout the entire head.

How do I get the “wet” look? Ok, so we all know the difference between curly hair that is dry (meaning, not wet) and curly hair that lacks moisture and is unhealthy. If the question is whether the biracial hair is properly moisturized, think realistically about curl texture and shape. Curls aren’t prone to shine when they’re dry, which is what wet hair looks like. Sometimes curly hair looks dry when it’s frizzy, and we’ve learned that frizzy curly hair happens when the hair strands separate (due to styling, brushing, sweating or whatever) and not necessarily because the hair lacks moisture. A perfect example is with afro hairstyles, which is black curly hair completely brushed out to create a hairstyle without curl definition. Afro curly hair does not necessarily lack moisture.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, I think what people are asking when they reference a “wet” look is more about curl definition. So the question is more like “How do I create hairstyles for mixed race curly hair that is super defined and lacks frizz?” and the answer when my biracial babies were little was, honestly, add water and condition more often. I did not use curly hair products with hold for styling at that time. My only concern was how to moisturize natural curly hair.

As I’ve learned how to do mixed girl hair, we’re exploring styling products with various holding ingredients. You know, like giant tubs of hair gel with maximum holding and curl definition! They work, ya’ll. I look for ones without alcohol, but gel is def the best way to achieve curl definition in curly hairstyles.

And for all the beautiful biracial teen girls that message me, let go of the silly vision of Prince Charming running his fingers through your perfectly detangled mane of straight hair or loose curls. That story is played out and you don’t need that dude, anyway!

In Between Days/Curl Refresh Routine: Once the hair has dried from a condition/deep condition, we refresh the curls to make a style last longer (assuming the style is down and not in braids, twists or banded) in between days before the next conditioning. To do this, we use a bottle of warm water to refresh the curls. On frizzy areas, I add more leave-in conditioner or styling products with my fingertips, running down the curl patterns to join the hair shafts back together.

How about letting the hair air dry while its down? For my loose curls, sure: air drying won’t cause much of a hassle nor does shrinkage make much of difference. But hair types that are super textured and prone to shrinkage and clumping – like my daughter’s – I avoid air drying while the hair is down as much as possible. When she was 4 years old, I pretty much never let her hair air dry (as in, not banded as shown in our Nighttime Routine for Toddler Curly Hair) because of the stress in detangling at the next conditioning.

Now that she’s older, we will sometimes agree to let her hair dry while down making sure to budget extra time for our next wash/condition/detangling session. Styling products with mega hold have helped weigh the curls down, but shrinkage is real and sometimes banding or braiding hair for a few days helps to stretch the curls into a longer length.

WHY IS THIS IS SO MUCH WORK! Oh, I get it. Learning how to fix mixed girl hair IS a ton of work… but its also super important! Our biracial babies deserve to have mothers who value all parts of their bodies and identities – including their hair. Biracial children’s hair is not hard or bothersome, difficult or a nuisance. On the contrary, curly mixed hair is a beautiful reflection of the people who created it. We should be so honored to invest our time in learning and teaching our babies how to cherish it. You’ve got this, Mom!

Best Products for Mixed Curly Hair

By far, the most common question I get is about the kids hair products we use. Moms want to know what are the best products for natural hair, recommendations for shampoo and conditioner for curly hair, and even our favorite brushes and combs.

Below is a list of our favorite curly hair products that are used on my own hair, as well as my mixed girl with curly hair at 8 years old. (We just recently started using the same products. You should check our Baby and Toddler posts for hair products recommendations for those ages.)

Our Favorite Shampoo for Curly Hair

DevaCurl No-Poo Decadence Milk Cleanser (8 oz): We are DevaCurl fanatics over here. The DevaCurl price tag is high, but their Decadence line never disappoints. This No-Poo is a zero lather, ultra moisturizing milk cleanser that leaves hair feeling clean and soft. I use this as a co-wash. Give the 80z bottle a try, but you’re gonna want the 32 ounce bottle. It lasts us about 7-8 weeks. Better yet, check out the No-Poo and One Conditioner Combo and get a free Deva Scarf while you’re at it.

Shea Moisture Low Porosity Protein Free Shampoo (13 ounce): A recent discovery, this shampoo is made with tea tree oil so it’s very drying. Although it strips the natural oils, it also gets our curly hair super clean. We’ve learned that Low Porosity hair is prone to product build-up and have seen great results using this shampoo just 1-2 times a month.

Our Best Conditioner for Curly Hair

Giovanni Eco Chic – Smooth as Silk (40 ounces): This rinse out conditioner for curly hair has seen me through the college years (when money is tight) and has become is a great “combing conditioner” for my biracial children. The price point has slowly gone up through the years, but its still perfect for the amount we go through. Good slip and super hydrating, perfect for the detangling process.

DevaCurl One Condition Decadence (32 ounce): What can I say, we love this stuff. This conditioner is always on hand and a 32 ounce bottle lasts us no more than 4 weeks. I never rinse it out, but the instructions say to do so. So although this is a conditioner, we use it similar to a leave-in conditioner. The line is 100% sulfate, paraben and silicone free, which makes them great natural hair products for kids too.

Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner (10 ounces): I loved this product when my daughter was a toddler/little kid. So few brands were around back then and Mixed Chicks did an amazing job at moisturizing and defining curls without drying the hair out. The price to ounces ratio bummed me out though, so once DevaCurl came on the market, we stopped buying it as frequently.

Shea Moisture Low Porosity Leave-In Detangler: This is our latest curly hair product find and we’re totally in love! Made with baobab oil and tea tree oils, this curly conditioner is protein-free and is easily absorbed without product build up. We’re working on a complete review of the three Low Porosity products and will link the details here when it’s published!

Deep Conditioners and Hair Oils: This is where things have changed drastically for our hair care regimen since this post was first published. For many years we used EDEN BodyWorks JojOba Monoi Deep Conditioner and loved it, but it has been discontinued. Boo! I’ve since learned a lot about product build-up on curly hair and have reduced the amount of deep conditioning we do. Instead, I add a few drops of super hydrating (and organic) hail oils to the Shea Moisture Leave-In linked above with a steam cap. The hair oils we use most are Argan Oil and JojOba Oil (the same as the oil in our favorite deep conditioner that was discontinued).

Favorite Combs + Tools: I want to post about all our combs and tools one day. We even use brushes now, which I was really against when I had babies. This post has already super long though, so shoot me a message if you want the links to all our favorite combs for general combing, combating small tangles and styling. I also swear by these Spring Bands instead of elastic rubber bands. They’re pretty great at preventing breakage.

Why not braids or twist outs? When I first wrote this post, I did not know how to do a cornrow or french braid… but I learned! Once she started elementary school, it became necessary to keep her curls protected during the week. So mama did what mamas do and I figured it out. Now she pretty much lives in protective styles and braids. More coming on mixed girl hairstyles soon!

Mixed Girl Hairstyles: A few curly hairstyles we love are this Banded Side Ponytail, this Sock Bun Tutorial, these Minnie Mouse Buns that are perfect any time of year…. and more coming soon!

Should we straighten her hair?: I don’t judge a mom for taking care of her child’s hair how she sees fit, but I really never want my daughter to texturize her hair with a bunch of chemicals to permanently straighten it.

Now if we’re talking about a new straight hairstyle for a special occasion or to switch things up a bit? Sure! Sounds fun! A chemical process to remove the curl pattern from her hair indefinitely? Nope. Not with my money. I’ve never had a Brazilian Blow-Out, so I won’t allow my child to either. Curly hair is part of our identity and if she wants to abolish those curls, she’ll have to get a job and pay for it herself.

All Grown Up: Her First Mixed Curly Haircut

This sweet baby is growing up and finally had her first curly haircut at 7 years-old. Read to find out what we learned about hair… and ourselves. <3

Check out: A 7-Year-Old’s First Mixed Curly Haircut

How to Protect Your Curls from Lice and Nasty Nits!

How about the curly boys? Check out our some of our favorite Curly Haircut for Boys! 

Also, learn exactly what to say to your barber to get this adorable Curly Faux Hawk!

[alder_index title=”Curly Hair Care” cat=”curly-mixed-hair-care” amount=”4″ cols=”4″]