Although I’ve had several, this was the first Mother’s Day celebration with my mom and mother-in-law and blending cultures. We lived 300 miles apart before and just never came out for the holiday. But now that we’re here, after a busy weekend between families and houses honoring the mothers who built their family legacies, my heart has never been more full. Blending cultures takes nuance, but is so rewarding.
Blending Cultures on Mother’s Day
This weekend was the ultimate reminder of why we decided to raise our multiracial children closer to family: to help strengthen their biracial identities with experiences that bond their realities with their heritage. To give their existence a tangible context and let them feel – on a regular basis – what it’s like to really belong to the people who love them. For them to see the representation of their lives.
Related: When You’re Expecting Biracial Babies
Honoring Our Mixed Race Family
Watching my little girl take pictures with her each grandmother on Mother’s Day made my heart swell. They’re two women of different races, ages, generations, and cultures. To be honest, our families don’t even speak the same language. They didn’t know each other before their kids married, and probably never would have, but are now forever connected by the legacy of this sweet, five-year-old girl.
This Mother’s Day, my daughter watched as her Daddy handed his mother-in-law a card; he wrapped his arms around her and thanked her, sincerely, for everything she’s done for us the last few months. We got all dolled up and went to brunch with her great-grandmother, great-tio y tia, and her “regular” tio and tia, too. My kids sat at a long stretch of table as food was shared and drinks were toasted. They ate their fondue goodies as their ears soaked up the Spanish and English and the insanely loud pitched voices that Cubans are know for. They sat there for hours, even if not ideal for 2 active kids (just like me and brother used to do) and experienced family on Mother’s Day.
And then we moved on…
Later that day, after nap time, we headed down the street to celebrate my mother-in-law with a huge family dinner. The day before, the kids and I made her a traditional banana pudding in a pretty new truffle vase I thought she would like and wrote a sweet message in her card (My Mother-in-law adores cards).
As we arrived, the party was getting underway, but first: the prayer. With everyone – young and old – circled around my mother-in-law’s family room, we held hands and prayed. My daughter held hands with her dad and a cousin, while I held the hand of a nephew… a man who has grown up before my eyes over the last ten years.
After the prayer, all structure was lost… mothers were invited to get their food while the dads helped the littlest ones and everyone else fended for themselves. After we ate, the five baby cousins played tag and Mother May I outside. They screamed and laughed, sitting in a circle on their granny’s front lawn talking about why the sky is blue while the uncles stood over them, like fierce protectors, “talking shop”.
I’m there too, lecturing my 17 year old niece about college applications and setting goals. Taking out my camera to take pretty pictures of our family. Asking too many nosy questions, expressing my love and concern. I’m vested in this family legacy, because, I believe, that’s what makes my kids feel whole. That’s what makes a multiracial child feel whole.
My daughter runs over to me, as she often does, to say how happy she is; the emotions seem to overwhelm her, as she purges to me immediately. She says, “Mama! I’m having so much fun today!” Her joy is so obvious – so pure – that it makes every fiber of my body quiver with affirmation. It tells me: YOU DID THIS. THIS IS YOUR LEGACY. And then I realize, this is so much better than I ever envisioned.
Happy Multiracial Mother’s Day, my Legacy Moms!
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