Recently, I did something drastic: I went hands free. I took all social media apps off my phone. I closed my laptop for days at a time. I locked my phone away for the majority of the day and only was fully accessible when my kids were at school. Cold turkey, I completely vetted all unnecessary distractions from my life and only added things back as they felt right and good to me.
Hands Free Mama
A few weeks ago, I celebrated my 35th birthday in the hospital. For the second time in 6 months, I was hospitalized for severe pneumonia that is proving to be a bigger issue than originally presumed. I can run a tally on all the reasons why I went hands free, but instead, I’d like to focus on the truths I’ve realized since doing so.
Put the Phone Down
Ditch the Distractions…
So what exactly happens when you choose to go hands free or otherwise decide to forgo distractions to focus solely on your parenting and purpose driven life? This is a bit of what happened for me…
#1 You lose: You lose the ability to become accessible and sometimes that means losing connections, friendships, job opportunities or status. Then, you lose the need to be constantly affirmed by technology. You also lose the ease and consistency in which relationships are maintained online, making genuine outreach and connections a necessity. For me, most of the losses I experienced were easy to deal with. Once I got over my own ego, it felt good to let go, which allowed room in my life for what matters.
#2 You gain: Oh my, there’s so much to gain! The benefits to parenting (and living!) hands free has proven to be one of the most remarkable lessons in my motherhood thus far. When I finally acknowledged that I had too much on my plate, was risking my heath and missing out on the beauty of my children, the inner dissonance I had been living with subsided. Specifically, by living without distractions, I’ve gained new friendships that are super relevant to our lives right now. In the time I would have otherwise been distracted, I’ve gained – and am nurturing – communities that reinforce the values our family finds important. I’ve gained time; to pick up my big camera and shoot just because, to call an old friend that I had neglected, read a book or cook family meals consistently. Most of all, by becoming hands free, I’ve gained the patience to catch life happening.
#3 You learn: By going hands free, your mind becomes available to absorb the intimate details of your life. For me, I adore watching my kids learn. I love to learn who they are becoming! The time I spend sitting in their states of focus has never been time poorly spent… especially this sweet, super active boy of mine. I also learned that, with all the distractions available to our younger generation, my boy focuses best when he has one high-quality toy to engage with.
Whether a mom or child, living with a bit less distractions really does allow for better learning experiences. And since they’re childhood will race by whether we choose to witness it or not, I’m making sure that I’m along for the ride.
#5 You’re worth it: The ability to believe wholeheartedly that you’re worth it – whatever it might be – is a profound realization. Going hands free has allowed me to focus on myself and be proud of the inside because I’m no longer looking elsewhere for validation.
I’m worth taking a break to do nothing but breathe in fresh air and spend an hour taking photos of my son. I’m worth the cost of organic eggs from a local farmer bought at a beachside farmer’s market while spending the afternoon creating new friendships. I’m worth limiting distractions and spending time to learn what makes me tick. With our busy schedules and constant giving, doesn’t every mom deserve a little bit of self acknowledgement?
I went completely hands free because life was falling in one me – my health was ailing, my kids’ behaviors worried me and my marriage was stressed from our constant state of rushed anxiety.
I had to go hands free. I had to let go. I had to choose me.
In that time, these 5 truths have helped me realize that an occasional reprieve is not a bad thing because, when you’re ready, you can move forward stronger than ever.
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