Personal Identity Project: Your Name, Your Brand

How does your NAME impact your PERSONAL IDENTITY?

Whether you like it or not, your moniker impacts your personal identity. Your name announces to the world who you are, aspire to be and can certainly affect much of your life. Often times even before you are born, the world has come to know and judge you solely by the name given to you. A set of values and expectations, hopes and wants, set firmly on your unborn shoulders by the weight of the letters that encompass your name; your brand.

Is there any wonder why parents agonize over the decision of what to name their children? Daddy D and I certainly did. I imagine most parents, new and veteran, do too.

Having read articles siting statistics of uniquely named people not having equal access to jobs or being unfairly judged, we knew our kids’ names would not be super original. I’m just not that girl who makes up a name and is confident enough to give it to my kid {kudos to those who are!}. Also, knowing that my kids are of mixed ethnicity {and will unfortunately deal with ignorance on some level} we purposefully named our children with a global mindset. D and I put a high value on open-mindedness and an appreciation of worldly perspectives, and because of that, sought out names that branded those values. Although our children are of African American and Cuban decedent, neither of their names are derived of those origins.

Contrarily, D and I are not your cookie cutter American couple…. we know that, and embrace it. We conscientiously signed up for the unique challenges that mixed couples {and mixed parents} face. We are fiercely protective of one another and stand proud of the beautiful family we have created. With that value in mind, Daddy D and I wanted names that would be heard in the playground as often as you might find another little mixed kid playing in it. Names that are not completely custom made, but not a run of the mill brand either.

The kids’ middle names is where D and I took liberty in honoring people important to, not only us, but to our children. I felt like it was an opportunity to further create an identity for them.

Our beautiful Alina,

Your name evokes classic, yet strikingly creative, characteristics to me. I have never met another Alina. But you may be surprised to know, sweet Daughter, that your Daddy named you. Not I. One day, while having lunch at our favorite sandwich shop, your Dad told me about a dream he had the night before…

The three of us were at a park together; you were about four years old and had long, curly hair that was blowing in the wind as you ran away from us, face unseen. We called out to you…. Alina.

I loved your name from the instant your Dad uttered it, but being the anxiety ridden perfectionist that I am, had to do some research before settling on it. Being of Slavic {or Greek or Arabic or French, depending on who you ask} origin, the meaning of Alina is “illustrious, noble”. You share your name with the daughter of Fidel Castro, the Cuban dictator, who fled her father’s country for our land of the free. Just like my grandparents had done. Like me, she is a woman of her own desire; she does what she wants. A true rebel. With that, my love, you were named.

Your middle name is after your Auntie, who you love and adore with all of your two-year-old heart. Being Step Sisters is a distinction I will likely only make this once, because truly, she is so much more than just a sister… she is a best friend, a trusted confidant and will unconditionally love you in a way that I can only do. She is a woman of joy, generosity and commitment. She is optimistic in the face of crazy obstacles. She is secure and strong, yet gentle and beautiful. And I pray that you take after your namesake in these ways, too. We are all so lucky to have her in our everyday lives.

My Son,

Although true that your name was conceived in a much less romantic way, no less purpose or thought went into choosing your moniker. Naming you, Sebastian, was a task of true effort and consideration. The world is so different for men, my tiny baby boy, especially for men of color. I won’t even begin to pretend to know how different. But as your Mom, I was determined to give you a beginning that is solid and strong. That was my top priority. Luckily, your Daddy is bonafide strong man, without needing a name to back him up, and was able to give you a name that is at once strong and gentle, familiar and unique. {Yes, Daddy named you too!} Sebastian is a classic European name, which affords us the cross cultural values that were important to us when naming your Sister. I was once told that your name sounded like a “stuck-up, rich kid’s name”…and you know what? That’s awesome! Be stuck-up, sweet Son! Don’t ever let this crazy world get the better of you or your confidence. Of course, be humble, be gentle, but love and be kind to yourself too. And hey, being rich wouldn’t be such a bad thing either!

Your namesake is a man I wish with all of my heart that you were able to know. Your Grandpa was a kind, loving man who succeeded in life through incredible work ethic. A true gentleman. He was committed to his family, and to your Dad especially. Your Dad loves your Grandpa unlike any person I’ve ever known to love a parent. Daddy’s soul is, and will forever be, connected to your Grandpa’s. And my hope by naming you after him is that you will also be connected to this astounding quality of man. Be the gentleman that your Grandpa was, that your Dad is, and your life will be filled with the love and sincerity that I pray it to be.

Your names are just the beginning of your identities, my perfect babies. You are so much more than “Alina” and “Sebastian”, but your Daddy and I put our hearts into those names with hopes that they bring our values into the foundation of who you become.

I love you each forever. I love you each together. I love you each apart. I love you each on the inside, and I love the outside that the world will also see and love.

Te quiero por ahora, y por siempre,
Su Mama