Raising A Resilient Child: Using Nurture To Build A Resilient Nature {Part 1}

As a Parent, how can I nurture my child so that her own unique nature can flourish and become one of success?

Years ago, long before we got pregnant with Alina, my Supervisor gave my team a few articles to review related to resiliency and how to nurture resilience in children. These articles finally offered me an insight. I felt like I had hit a goldmine! It identified five specific characteristics that resilient people have by nature, in varying degrees, from infancy to adulthood. The article also identified specific ways we can nurture these characteristics. In my eyes, I was finally offered a reason why some of my clients accomplished all their goals with ease, while others just couldn’t get past their emotional hurdles. Resiliency.

These resources struck such a chord in my heart, that I now deliberately parent using these tips and techniques. I am not always proficient at it, being that even my resiliency levels could use great improvement. I will even go out on the limb and say that, at this stage in her development, my sweet Alina has inherited much of my oversensitivity. Even still, I try my best and hope for success.

Below, I’ve highlighted the way resiliency manifests itself from infancy to adolescence. I have included links to the articles in their entirety as well. All the material below is gathered from the provided links. I encourage you to read them, as they contain great information that I have not included here.

Personal Characteristics Related to Resilience
{Full text here.}
{Part of a larger piece entitled “Fostering Resilience in Children”}
Authors:
The Ohio State University
Kimberly A. Gordon Rouse
Mary Longo
Mary Trickett* I should note that, according to this research, a person can show resilient characteristics, but without overcoming “extreme or chronic stress or adversity” they are not considered resilient. As a parent, that makes no difference to me; I’m not about to deliberately put my child through chronic stress to split hairs, but for accuracy’s sake, the note is made.*Resilient Infants are:
~ Active, energetic and easy going
~ Can elicit and receive positive responses from others {“socially responsive”}
~ Described as having an “easy” temperament
~ Determined, to be greater degree
~ Display more frustration tolerance, impulse control and gratification delay

Resilient Toddlers are:
~ Intelligent
~ Autonomous, tempered with adequate cooperation and compliance
~ Sociability continues, with a positive sense of self
~ Androgynous behaviors begin to be noted

Resilience in Early Childhood appear as:
~ Superior reasoning and problem solving skills
~ Continued sociability, androgyny and autonomy behaviors
~ Guided by an internal locus of control
~ Better self concept
~ Display high intellectual motivation. Probing drive to understand.
~ Take initiative to question, suggest, obverse and imitate

Resilient Adolescents are:
~ Superiority in sociability, androgyny and autonomy behaviors continue
~ With cognitive superiority comes more sensitivity
~ Spends more time on homework and cooperates with teachers
~ Enhanced self concept

I tried my best to condense this material into one post, but to no avail. Sorry! Too much to say!

If you don’t “see” your child in every the bullet point above, please don’t fret. As I noted, my beautiful little girl is as smart and determined as they come {in my humble opinion} and she is very social when she wants to be. But her frustration tolerance can use some serious work and in no way would I describe her as “easy”. My point is this: by thinking about a child’s nature and identifying where they lack strength, a caregiver can nurture the weaker characteristics in order to improve resiliency. As much as I want my baby’s life to be full of up’s, I know that life is also FULL of down’s. In those difficult cases, I want her nature and her nurture to work together to achieve success.

Tomorrow I will delve into the five specific characteristics of resiliency and suggestions for fostering resiliency in children. I will also provide a link to another fantastic resource guide that gives even more practical applications in developing a resilient nature.

Click here to read the second installment of this post!