What I Want My Daughter to Know About My Skin

Disclosure: This video was sponsored by AVEENO® through their partnership with POPSUGAR. While I was compensated by POPSUGAR to write a post about AVEENO®, all opinions are my own.

As a mother to multiracial children, it’s impossible to avoid the topic of skin. With the various tones that make up our family and a commitment to allow such conversations to occur as needed, I expect skin color to be a dinner table topic for years to come. But color isn’t the only thing I want my daughter to know about skin. As with people, what you see on the outside is only the beginning and, if you’re willing to look deeper, skin can tell you so much more about a person’s walk in life.

I remember experiencing the BODIES exhibit years ago – well before I became a mother – and learning that a person’s skin is actually the largest organ in their body. There, in a room of soulless shells preserved for science’s sake, I read that what we see on the outside is actually just the beginning; skin is made of up of the epidermis, dermis layers and, finally, subcutaneous tissue.

The body is a complex creation and, as she matures into a woman and possibly a mother, I want my daughter to appreciate various symptoms as reflections of her choices. In addition to the pregnancy itself, motherhood is often riddled with stress and moments of extreme self-sacrifice that, eventually, become visible on the outside over time. It certainly has for me. Some women experience hair loss or weight gain, but for me, it’s been my skin that betrays the “I’ve got it all together” persona.

For the last couple years, my legs have been burdened with severe patches of psoriasis. For a long time, I ignored the symptoms. It was easy to wear pants or long skirts. I’m not sure why, but I never treated it or worried there might be a bigger reason for it. I blamed time or was overwhelmed with an ever-growing list of things to do. I felt vain or selfish for caring. Quite honestly, if it didn’t involve the health of my kids, I didn’t really care anyway.

What I want my daughter to know about skin is simple: pay attention to it. Earlier this year I landed in the ICU with a crazy strain of pneumonia that nearly wiped me out. As I lay in that bed, struggling to breathe, I felt unsurprised. I felt dumb. Deep down, I knew this was coming. I had ignored my body for too long and any excuse to deny it was interrupted by the rhythmic beeping of all things intensive care. Indeed, the largest organ of my body needed care, breaking and bleeding in painful outcries of hydration.

I’m not saying that my medical scare could have been avoided – even my doctors said stress wasn’t the culprit – but as the principle model of womanhood in my daughter’s life, I’m ashamed to admit how far I was willing to ignore my own needs. I’m reminded of that constantly, as I catch my daughter emulating my behavior, words and attitude on life.

Since then, my skin continues to show signs of dryness when I’m stressed, not getting enough sleep or drink enough water. The difference now is that I’m not ignoring those signs. I listen and tend to my skin’s needs well before it becomes a larger issue. Most importantly, however, my daughter is watching me care of my skin.

Like a meditation ritual, each morning I lather my legs with a bottle of great lotion that I claim for my sole use. I love AVEENO® DAILY MOISTURIZING SHEER HYDRATION LOTION because it absorbs in seconds and leaves a fresh, powder like feel. The scent is perfect to start the day, too. Filled with naturally hydrating ingredients, it goes on feather-light and keeps my legs hydrated all day long. While I apply the lotion, I take time to observe my skin and tend it the areas that might be crying out for some love.

It takes no more than a few minutes each day to apply AVEENO® to my skin, but it’s made a world of difference already. It might sound crazy, but this little ritual has impacted my parenting. Even my daughter has noted a change as she strokes my arm or looks at my legs.

Ultimately, that’s what I want my daughter to know about skin: the biggest organ in your body will sometimes give the biggest clues about a person’s walk in life. Sometimes what you see on the outside is just the top layer to the most profound and important. Don’t ignore it.