The greatest joys of motherhood are often those found in between; the big stuff is obvious, the small stuff is mundane, but the moments that take you by surprise are my favorite! I’m excited to partner with Kinder Joy™ today, one of the most popular confectionary brands in the world, to share the in-between moments of our legacy… evening the boring ones. Thank you for supporting the brands that support moms like us!
A new word made an appearance in our home recently: BORED. Seemingly overnight, my sweet 8-year-old turned into an angsty tween and “I’m bored” is all over my house! SoCal living means we’re outside most afternoons rushing from one activity to the next, which leads me to believe that her boredom doesn’t stem from a lack of stuff to do. So what is a parent to do when “I’m bored!” strikes? And does a mom learn how to cure boredom in a kid that seemingly has a full and busy life?
It felt like “I’m bored” sat at our dinner table, “I’m bored” interrupted our conversations and I started to get worried. It was time to hunker down with my babies and figure this all out. What does “I’m bored” really mean, anyway?
Why is my child bored when life is so busy?!
Boredom is good for our kids and their development, but being busy can make it hard for our kids to know how to fill their unstructured time in meaningful ways. There’s also the greater issue of not having downtime to foster the relationships kids often seek out. I sensed that, while she thinks she wants more tablet or tv time, another snack or [insert ANYTHING here!], her boredom means something quite different. I started to wonder if my little girl lacked the emotional vocabulary to express her actual needs and then defaulted to the kid-favorite “I’m bored”.
After investigation and research on why kids struggle with boredom (including all these great ideas on growth mindset for kids), I’ve come up with a few reasons my child says she’s bored. Here is what now I think she’s saying instead…
- I want to spend time with you.
- This activity doesn’t interest me.
- I’m scared to fail.
- I need your guidance to get started.
- I need help filling my time in a meaningful way.
- I need to talk to you about something important.
- Will you watch me?
What I do when my child is “bored”
Trust me, it feels like nails on a chalkboard when your child is singing the “I’m bored” song and dance considering all the ways in which their lives are abundantly filled. My initial thoughts would veer towards lectures on entitlement – how can you want for more when you have so much – but that wasn’t the answer. Not by a long shot.
If I wanted to cure boredom once and for all, it was going to take more than a few boredom buster activities, tips or tricks. If we really want to kick boredom to the curb, we need to dig deeper. Here are the steps I follow to figure how to cure boredom for kids:
- Turn off distractions/electronics to focus on the issue at hand.
- Investigate the root cause of their boredom by observing their non-verbal cues.
- Ask questions to help kids identify their emotional needs.
Typically, for my child, boredom is not the reason she’s acting out (ie: whining about being bored). 99% of the time she needs my attention to help overcome or explain or support or acknowledge. She just wants me to be, well, there. And you know what? I totally get it!
Helping Our Children Identify Their Own Needs
One boredom buster trick I do keep on-hand are Kinder Joy™ Eggs! The delicious treat of Kinder Joy™ is made of two soft creamy layers – one milk-crème flavored and one cocoa flavored – but I think my kids love eating it all with the included spoon most. They’ve been around for 17 years and have sold billions in more than 100 countries. I buy this big pack of Kinder Joy™ eggs on Amazon to give out throughout the month… if they last that long!
I also love that Kinder Joy™ allows for imaginative play in itty bitty moments. It’s not contrived or forced when you’re enjoying a treat with mom. Sometimes I stop what I’m doing for 5 minutes just to share a Kinder Joy™ treat and engage in simple conversation (with open-ended questions) to help launch her into creative play. Reading the instructions and watching her put the Kinder Joy™ toy together allows her to feel my presence while working herself towards a creative space.
Boredom is great, losing connection is not
Boredom is good for kids! We’ve got a ton of research to tell us that they don’t need every minute of the day programmed and unstructured time leads to imaginative play. Boredom is the root of so many great skills like perseverance and innovation!
However, as our kids grow and mature, I think it’s important to recognize when “I’m bored” is really something else. Our kids won’t always yet have the emotional vocabulary to ask for advice and attention. Maintaining positive connections and open line of communication with our pre-tweens is vital as they enter the next stage of childhood.
So while “I’m bored” can feel like nails on a chalkboard, sometimes a sweet treat, small toy and a few extra minutes with mom is the best way to cure boredom.
